Feeling right makes us happier than feeling good, study finds

Feeling right makes us happier than feeling good, study findsFeeling right makes us happier than feeling good, study findsBeing happy doesnt always mean sunshine and smiles. According to new wellbeing research published in theJournal of Experimental Psychology, feeling positive emotions is not the way to win the pursuit of happiness - getting to express the emotions you want to, however, is.Although conventional wisdom on happiness links the state of wellbeing to feeling good, the researchers in this study wanted to test the ancient wisdom Aristotle once gave on the subject that feeling content and happy means having feelings at the right times on the right grounds towards the right people for the right motive and in the right way.In other words, emotions like gemeindewiese and sadness can lead to happiness if these emotions are consistent with your values, because feeling in tune with yourself helps you feel happy.To test this, researchers got 2,324 participants from eight countrie s to fill out surveys on what emotions they felt and what they wanted to feel in their day-to-day lives. What they found is that people who had greater discrepancies between their experienced and desired emotions had lower life satisfaction and more depressive symptoms.Expressing how you feel matters more than how good you feelIt didnt matter how much participants reported feeling self-transcending emotions like love, trust, and compassion if that wasnt their desired emotion. Getting to express how they felt in their heads out loud in their lives made more of a difference than how many pleasant emotions they were feeling.What this study proves is that we all have different definitions of happiness. Some participants valued and wanted to feel more self-enhancing emotions like anger and contempt, while some participants valued power and achievement and wanted to feel more pride. If they felt rage in their hearts and they got to express it in their lives, they were happy.This study is consistent with previous happiness research that self-help author, blogger, and podcaster Gretchen Rubin has done. Rubin has made a career out of studying how to link happiness to habits and what shes found is that we all have different value systems that define what make us fulfilled and happy.There is no one-size-fits-all solution, Rubin has said herresearch has found. We can only be happy, healthy, creative and productive if we take into account our own nature, our own values and interests. The question is what kind of person am I, what works for me, what do I care about?

This is how to make friends as an adult 5 secrets backed by research

This is how to make friends as an adult 5 secrets backed by researchThis is how to make friends as an adult 5 secrets backed by researchWhen you were a kid it was a lot easier. In college, you almost had to be tryingelendto make friends. But then youre an adult. You get busy with work. Your friends get busy with work. People get married. Have kids. And pretty soon being close means a text message twice a year.Youre notlage aloneOr, actually, the whole point of this is you really may be alone. But youre not alone in being alone. These days were all alone together. In 1985 most people said they had 3 close friends. In 2004 the most common number waszero.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moraViaSocial Why Our Brains Are Wired to ConnectIn a survey given in 1985, people were asked to list their friends in response to the question Over the last six months, who are the people with whom you discussed matters important to you? The most common number of friends listed was three 59 percent of respondents listed three or more friends fitting this description. The saatkorn survey was given again in 2004. This time the most common number of friends was zero. And only 37 percent of respondents listed three or more friends. Back in 1985, only 10 percent indicated that they had zero confidants. In 2004, this number skyrocketed to 25 percent. One out of every four of us is walking around with no one to share our lives with.Friends are important. Nobody would dispute that.ButI doubt you know howveryimportant they are.So lets see just how critical friends can be- and the scientifically-backed ways to get more of them in your lifeLoneliness Is A KillerWhen people are dying, what do theyregret the most? Coming in at 4 isI wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.And neglecting your friends can make those deathbed regrets come alotsooner than youd like. When I spoke toCarlin Flora , author ofFriendfluence The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are, she told meJulianne Holt-Lunstad did a meta-analysis of social support and health outcomes and found that not having enough friends or having a weak social circle is the same risk factor as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.Maybe your grandparents lived to 100 and you take good care of yourself. Youre healthy. But if you want those years to be full of smiles, you need to invest in friendship. 70% of your happiness comes from relationships.ViaThe 100 Simple Secrets of Happy PeopleContrary to the belief that happiness is hard to explain, or that it depends on having great wealth, researchers have identified the core factors in a happy life. The primary components are number of friends, closeness of friends, closeness of family, and relationships with co-workers and neighbors. Togetherthese features explain about 70 percent of personal happiness. Murray and Peacock 1996The Grant Study at Harvard has followeda group of men for their entire lives. The guy who led the study for a few decades, George Vaillant, was asked, What have you learned from the Grant Study men? Vaillantsresponse?That the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.So friendshipsare really really really important. But maybe youre not worried. Maybe you have lots of friends. Guess what?Inseven years, half of your close friendswont be close to youanymore.ViaFriendfluence The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We AreA study by a Dutch sociologist who tracked about a thousand people of all ages found that on average, we lose half of our close network members every seven years. To think that half of the people currently on your most dialed list will fade out of your life in less than a decade is frightening indeed.Ouch.Scared yet? I am.(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my bestselling bookhere.)So what do we do? (No, going back to college is not the answer.) How do we make new friends as adults?1) The New Starts With The OldThe first step to making new friends is dont. Instead,reconnect with old friendsThese findings suggest that dormantrelationships often overlooked or underutilized can be a valuable source of knowledge and social capital.Doing this is easy, its not scary, theyre people you already have a history with, and it doesnt take a lot of time or work to get to know them. Go to Facebook or LinkedIn for ideas and then send some texts. Boom. You already have more friends.If youre going to be strategic, who should you prioritize? You probably met a disproportionatenumber of your friends through just a handful of people. Those are your superconnectors.Rekindle thoserelationships. And then ask them if theres anyone you should meet. Next time you get together, see if that new person can come along. Not. Hard. At. All.(To learn how to deal with a narcissist, clickhere.)But maybe this feels a little awkward. Maybe your friendship muscles have atrophied. Maybe you werent great at making friends in the first place. So what really makes people click?2)Listen, Seek Similarity, andCelebrateClicking with people is a lot less about you and a lot more about focusing on them.Dont be interesting. Be interested.And what are the best ways to do that?Listen, Seek Similarity, and Celebrate.Studiesshow being likable can be as easy aslistening to people and asking them to tell you more.Andmountains of researchshow similarity is critical. So when they mention something you have in common, point it out.Finally, celebrate the positive. When someone talks about the good things in their life, be enthusiastic and encouraging.ViaThe Myths of HappinessThe surprising finding is that the closest, most intimate, and most trusting relationships appear to be distinguished not by how the partners respond to each others disappointments, losses, and reversals but how they react to good news.(To learn more about how to be someone people love to talk to, clickhere.)Alright, your superconnectors are making introductions and youre clicking. But how do you get close to these new people? Weve all met people we thought were coolbut just didnt know how to take it to the next level and go from acquaintance to friend. Its simple, but not necessarily easy3)Be VulnerableOpen up a bit. Dont go full TMI, but make yourself a little bit vulnerable. Nobody becomes besties by only discussing the weather.Close friends are what leads to personal discussions. But personal discussions are also what leads toclose friends.ViaClick The Magic of Instant ConnectionsAllowing yourself to be vulnerable helps the other person to trust you, preciselybecauseyou are putting yourself at emotional, psychological, or physical risk. Other people tend to react by being more open and vulnerable themselves. The fact that both of you are letting down your guard helps to lay the groundwork for a faster, closer personal connection.Close friends have a goodif-then profile o f each other. Once you have an idea of if someone was in situation X, then they would display behavior Y, that means youre really starting to understand them. And this leads to good friendshipsPeople who had more knowledge of their friends if-then profile of triggers had better relationships. They had less conflict with the friend and less frustration with the relationship.How many close friends do you need? If we go by the science, you want to aim for at least five.ViaFinding Flow The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday LifeNational surveys find that when someone claims to have five or more friends with whom they can discuss important problems, they are 60 percent more likely to say that they are very happy.(To learn the lazy way to an awesome life, clickhere.)So you have new friends. Awesome. Now how do you not screw this up?4) Dont Be A StrangerFirst and foremostmake the time. Whats the most common thingfriends fight about? Time commitments.ViaFriendfluence The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We AreDaniel Hruschka reviewed studies on the causes of conflict in friendship and found that the most common friendship fights boil down to time commitments. Spending time with someone is a sure indicator that you value him no one likes to feel undervalued.You need to keep in touch. (Remember not keeping in touchis how you got into this problem in the first place.)If you want to stay close friends with someone, how often do you need tocheck in?Researchsays at least every two weeks.(To learn the four rituals neuroscience says will make you happy, clickhere.)So even if you need to set a reminder on your calendar, check in every two weeks. But, actually, theres a better way tomake sure you dont forget5) Start AGroupDenmark has the happiest people in the world. (Im guessing Hamlet was an exception.) Why are Danes so happy? One reason is that 92% of them are members of some kind of social group.ViaEngineering Happiness A New Approach for Building a Joyful LifeThe so ciologist Ruut Veenhoven and his team have collected happiness data from ninety-one countries, representing two-thirds of the worlds population. He has concluded that Denmark is home to the happiest people in the world, with Switzerland close behindInterestingly enough, one of the more detailed points of the research found that 92 percent of the people in Denmark are members of some sort of group, ranging from sports to cultural interests. To avoid loneliness, we must seek active social lives, maintain friendships, and enjoy stable relationships.And whats the best way to make sure youre in a group? Start one. That makes it a lot easier to stay in touch and a lot easier to manage those big 5 friendships with 20% of the effort.A weekly lunch. A monthly sewing circle. A quarterlymovie night. Whatever works. Friends bring friends and suddenly its not so hard to meet cool new people. And who does everyone have to thank for this? You.And make the effort to keep that group solid for everyo ne.Manystudiesshow older people are happier. Whats one of the reasons? They prune the jerks out of their social circlesOther studies have discovered that as people age, they seek out situations that will lift their moods - for instance, pruning social circles of friends or acquaintances who might bring them down.(To learn the 6 rituals ancient wisdom says will make you happy, clickhere.)Alright, popular kid, weve learned a lot. Lets round it up and find out how to keep your new friendships alive over the long haulSum UpHeres how to make friends as an adultThe new starts with the old Touch base with old friends and leverage your superconnectors.Listen, seek similarity and celebrate Dont be interesting. Be interested.Be vulnerable Open up a bit. Formanif-then profile.Dont be a stranger Check in every two weeks, minimum.Start a group Things that are habits get done. So start a group habit.What doesCarlin Flora, author ofFriendfluence, say is the number one tip for keeping friendships alive?Reach out to your good friends and tell them how much they mean to you. Its just not something were accustomed to doing. Itll make you feel great, itll make them feel great and it will strengthen the bond between you.Be more giving to the friends you already have. People in romantic relationships always celebrate anniversaries, yet you might have a friend for 15 years and youve probably never gone out to dinner and raised a glass to that. We need to cherish our friendships more.Okay, youre done reading. Time to startdoing. Reach out to a friend right now. Send them this post and letem know you want to get together.Listen to what theyve been up to. Celebrate their good news.Offer to help them out with something.After all, thats what friends are for.Join over 285,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.This article first appeared on Barking Up the Wrong Tree.

Grade Your Job Search 10 Step Quiz

Grade Your Job Search 10 Step QuizGrade Your Job Search 10 Step QuizTake an honest look at your job search. Grade yourself on this 10-point assessment to see if you make the cut.Do you pass or fail? I have always believed people would put more time and effort into their job search if they were somehow graded on the process.As it stands, most people treat the job search as a black-and-white propositionThey got the job or they didnt.Unfortunately, this misses the point completely. There is a world of difference between just missing the cut and never coming close. Most people have no idea where they fall on that continuum.With this in mind, here is a 10-point assessment you can do for your own job search1. I have created a written inventory of accomplishments.It clearly describes my experiences, my role and the results I have achieved. I continue to add to this list as I gain new experiences or whenever a particular job description triggers a memory of an experience that wasnt already o n the list. (Note The inventory is not a laundry list of responsibilities. Instead, it focuses on specific projects and explains the role you played.)Yes = 1No = 02. The only responsibilities listed on my resume are those that would come as a surprise.Responsibilities that would be assumed based on my titles are not listed. For example, if you are a sales manager, it is not necessary to mention archiving contact information and speaking to clients. People will assume that based on your title. However, they will not assume that you managed a team, planned trade events or handled payroll. So, if you had responsibilities like these - and you enjoyed it - add it to your inventory.Yes = 1No = 03. I customize each resume to address the specific needs of a given employer.In the end, I recognize that every company - even in the same industry - is different and therefore has a unique set of priorities for every position.Yes = 1No = 04. I recognize the value of cover letters and make a di rect parallel between the job requirements and my experience.It also means being honest and directly addressing any requirements that are not a match. Thats why I take the time to craft a katechese that speaks to my passion and interest as well as the experiences that have laid the foundation for my success in the position.Yes = 1No = 05. I actively pursue contacts in the organization (other than HR) in an effort to reach the hiring manager directly.When replying to online postings, I recognize that my paperwork, no matter how thoughtfully prepared, is most likely headed for the abyss unless I have a connection.Yes = 1No = 06. I routinely reach out to complete strangers.I do this through my alumni network, LinkedIn and other networking opportunities.Yes = 1No = 07. I make it a point to seek out informational interviews without asking for a job.And I understand how to conduct them so they dont come across as thinly veiled efforts for immediate, short-term gain.Yes = 1No = 08. Before I go into an interview, I create a list of the job requirements and my related accomplishments.I highlight these in the meeting. I do not rely on hope because hope isnt a strategy I hope they ask me questions that arent too difficult. I hope I do a good job answering the questions. And I hope they make me an offer.Yes = 1No = 09. I show evidence of my ability to help an employer reach their goals to boost my negotiation power.I know that my ability to negotiate effectively depends on the time I have invested in creating a compelling track record of accomplishment. For this reason, I make it a habit to consider the goals of the company, what I can do to help the company reach those goals and the evidence from my past experience that supports my value to the company in achieving those goals.Yes = 1No = 010. When interviews dont go my way, I make it a practice to seek feedback.I always do so in a gracious, open and non-confrontational way. I do this even though I am aware that not ever y interviewer or company will be accommodating. My gratitude and appreciation comes across from start to finish in every interaction because I truly appreciate any assistance that will help me market myself more effectively.Yes = 1No = 0The grading for this assessment is straightforward and requires complete honesty on your part. With the goal of meaningful, interesting and fulfilling employment in mind, there is no room for short cuts - especially in this economy. If you didnt score a 9 or 10, you need to implement a strategy for immediate improvement.Recognizing that most people will not score a 9 or 10, here are a few points to help you understand and improve your score.Interpreting your scoreBefore we look at the raw numbers, its important to note that a score doesnt always tell the whole story. For example, you can be engaged in the correct behaviors but using an ineffective approach. The only way to know is to look at your success in the job market.For the purposes of this as sessment, however, you can totenstill give yourself credit for the behavior because it is generally easier to tweak an existing behavior than it is to create a new habit. It is a lot like turning the wheels on a car - its much easier to do when the car is already moving.Once you have added up all your points, use this quick guide to help you interpret the results.Score 0 -3You desperately need some outside guidance to help you create a systematic approach that leverages your experiences and talents. Otherwise, you are destined to settle for an unfulfilling job that is far more draining than energizing.Score 4-6 You are doing some things right, but not enough. Look at what you arentdoing, and uncover the reason. For example, if networking is a challenge because you dont like contacting distant acquaintances or complete strangers, find a friend or coach who can guide you through the process to make it less intimidating or uncomfortable.Score 7-8You are doing far better than the avera ge job hunter, your search has a much higher likelihood of success. However, if you arent getting consistent results and you continue to struggle, focus your attention on feedback (from interviewers, from experts in your field, from coaches who come highly recommended). There may be something you are doing wrong that is standing in the way of your success.Score 9-10If you scored a 9 or 10 and are truly doing everything right, you have two choices Keep doing what youre doing. Get input from an expert on your strategy.Even though you may believe you are doing everything right, there is no substitute for an objective viewpoint. If you arent getting the results you would like, there may be a relatively minor issue standing between you and a rewarding position. It happens all the time. Every month you fail to address the issue, you will continue to hemorrhage money - the income you would have earned had you been employed.An outside perspectiveAnother reason it makes sense to get an expe rt opinion, no matter what your score, is the fact that you may think you are doing well when in reality you are not. For example, it may be clear to you why a particular position makes sense as the next logical step in your professional development, but if you fail to make the case to a potential employer, you are destined for under- or unemployment. Sadly, the people who fall into this category are least likely to reach out for help because they remain under the misconception they are doing everything right.In almost 20 years of coaching people in transition, I have yet to meet anyone who would legitimately score higher than a 7 or 8 on this assessment. Even the best, most successful job seekers I know - the people who move effortlessly from one company to another - all have a weak spot. For example, I have one friend who writes absolutely phenomenal cover letters. She is also great in interviews. But the resume is her weakest link. Recognizing this, she always reaches out for h elp and feedback in this area.When it comes to the job search, the best litmus test for your effectiveness is your results in the marketplace. If you arent getting the results you want, there is a 99 percent chance you are either doing something wrong or have expectations that dont match reality. Either way, get an outside perspective. Getting an A really does make a difference.

Study People who dont drink tend to take more sick days

Study People who don't drink tend to take more sick days Study People who don't drink tend to take more sick days Having a hangover at work is the worst. You think to yourself, why did I do this?There is a good chance you probably have even stayed home from work when your hangover was especially awful. You think about your coworker who never drinks and assume they never have to take sick days and probably knit sweaters for orphans in their spare time. You also think they must be in perfect health because they don’t drink the poison that is alcohol.Well, according to a new study, you would be wrong.The study,  published in the journal Addiction, took an analysis of 47,000 people in Europe and their drinking habits. The participants were put into five groups including those who never drink to major drinkers.Surprisingly they found that it was the sober ones who were often more absent from work because they were sick more. See, drinking is good for you! Not really, but it is surprising data.  Non-drinkers were found to have a higher risk of absence due to mental disorders, muscle and skeletal dis orders, and respiratory and digestive diseases.Don’t drink and workHowever, before you install a Don Draper bar in your office you should know the study also found that these people were at more risk to be absent due to injury or poisoning.Jenni Ervasti from the Finnish Institute of Occupational Health said of the findings, “Some diseases, or their treatment, prevent alcohol use, which may explain the excess risks among abstainers,” she said. “Moreover, participants to whom at-risk drinking causes health problems may be selected out from the labor market, that is, if they retire early or become unemployed. Then, the adverse effects are not seen in absence from work due to illness.”Have fun at your next happy hour!

Retail jobs, so important to the American economy, are weakening

Retail jobs, so important to the American economy, are weakening Retail jobs, so important to the American economy, are weakening U.S. job reports are how we take  the monthly pulse of the nation’s economy, and the March report shows that pulse could be a lot stronger - particularly in a financially significant portion of American economy.Retail jobs continue to lose to the online shopping monster eating the industry  up known as Amazon. The retail trade has slashed 30,000 jobs in March and jobs in general merchandise stores have declines by 35,000.Why does that matter? Because of this: the top two jobs for all employed Americans are retail salesperson and cashier.Now that core sector is hurting. The future  for brick-and-mortar retail stores looks grim. Unable to keep up with the pace of fast fashion online, The Limited closed all 250 of its stores and cut 4,000 jobs in January. This March, JC Penney announced it was closing 138 stores, which amounted to about 5,000 jobs lost. On Wednesday, Bebe announced that it was closing 21% of its stores in the U.S. amid reported speculation that it will eventually clo se all of its stores to focus on online retail. Fortune recently asked, “Can America’s department stores survive?”OverallJob growth has slowed down more than analysts expected. In March, the U.S. only added 98,000 jobs, which is well below the 180,000 expected, according to the Labor Department’s latest job report.One thing to note: the jobs report does get revised two more times at least, and it can be wrong by 100,000 jobs - so it will likely be around May before we really understand what happened in March.Still, part of what caught people off guard by the numbers is how much it differs from what the Automatic Data Processing estimate said earlier this week: the ADP forecast said 263,000 more jobs were added to the private sector last month.On the bright side, unemployment is the lowest it’s been since the 2008 recession. With unemployment dropping to 4.5%, that’s the lowest rate since May 2007. And people are getting raises too, which suggests  employers are working harder to retain those employees. The average hourly earnings for all employees increased by five cents up to $26.14.So if retail is falling, which industries are growing? Mining jobs are up with 11,000 added this past month, which speaks to the growing rise this industry has experienced in the last two years.

K12 a Work-At-Home Teaching Company

K12 a Work-At-Home Teaching Company K12 a Work-At-Home Teaching Company Headquartered in Herndon, VA,  this company develops the curriculum for free online public education for states and school districts and then in many cases implements it by instituting kindergarten through grade 12 online academies in those states. Also, it has its own tuition-based online K-12 school programs, which individual students in any state can enroll in. It develops its own curriculum for each of its many schools, and so it hires both teachers who may either teach or create the curricula and assessments. Types of Work-at-Home Positions at K12 Because of the diversity of its offerings in K-12 education, K12 seeks a range of education professionals in many states in both teaching and non-teaching positions. Depending on the position, the jobs may be fully virtual or may be in a school or office. Some jobs may be partially virtual but require travel as well.   Teaching jobs are usually specific to a state with different levels and skills sought. They require certification in that state but are often virtual within that state, meaning you can live anywhere in the state and teach online. In addition to teachers, school psychologist, principals, and other administrators are needed in particular states. These jobs are both full- and part-time.   Requirements vary for each position, but residency and certification in specific states are usually required. The states in which K12 has schools, and in turn potentially offers home-based jobs,  include Alabama, Arkansas, Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Washington, DC, Florida, Georgia, Illinois,Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, North Carolina, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Vermont and Washington. If there are no jobs available in your state, click on Search Open Positions and put US in the state field to find jobs available anywhere in the U.S. On a corporate level, the company seeks instructional designers, writers, editors, curriculum specialists, enrollment specialists, salespeople to work from home. These jobs, while listed with a Virginia location, are often hired nationwide.   Benefits While the specifics of its benefits packages will vary by state of residence, position and number of hours worked, in general, the company offers medical, dental, vision and prescription insurance, life insurance, paid time off, wellness programs and flexible spending accounts Applying To apply go to the K12 website and search the postings by your location. Create a login then upload a profile which you can use to make applications to various positions as they become available. Candidates must be eligible to work in the United States.   For similar positions, see this list of online tutoring jobs and read about the various types of WAH jobs for education professionals. And this list narrows the field to just work-at-home jobs for K-12 educators. Disclaimer: Advertisements for work at home jobs or business opportunities placed on this page in the section labeled Sponsored Links or elsewhere are not necessarily legitimate. These ads are not screened by me but appear on the page due to having similar keywords to the text on the page.

How Colleges Can Save You Money

How Colleges Can Save You Money How Colleges Can Save You Money Remember college? The late night study sessions, the lack of responsibility, the keg parties, andbest of allall the stuff you used to get for free. (Or at least, it seemed free.) Who knew prescription medications and gym memberships would be so expensive in the real world?You dont need to re-enroll to take advantage of the many discounts given to college kids. Many universities offer reduced (or free!) services to alumni and non-students, too, assuming youre willing to work out in a gym surrounded by 20-year-olds. Some of what you can get from campus [Read More...]Posted by Stephanie Miles, RecessionWire.comLove in the Time of Layoff: Sugar Mama DaysScrewed: 4,400 at Siemens AGDownturn Deals: Half-Price Food